Terrorists.

This morning I woke up to my overly-chipper alarm after a nightmare in which I was running in circles in a building, attempting not to get shot by some invisible force behind me.

This was a nightmare I had after scrolling through Facebook and reading all-too-vivid news reports of the Orlando shooting. I wasn't at all surprised I had this dream.

When the Paris attacks happened in November, I remember a similar sickened feeling as I read survival accounts of what took place at the Bataclan during a concert. A war zone at an event filled with innocent people, most of whom would absolutely never go to war or harm another living soul.

Most of us never want to hurt anyone.

But so many of us are getting hurt.

A wealthy privileged Stanford athlete gets away with 6 months in jail after violently sexually assaulting a woman at a party... but 50 + innocent, most likely loving, non-violent party-goers are sentenced to immediate death in a nightclub. Just for living their lives. For loving who they love. For being who they are - who they have every right to be.

What disturbs me the most is that not everyone sees how wrong this is. Not everyone sees how these deaths, even if they were gay, a different religion, a different race from you, effect EVERYONE. It means none of us is safe. This kind of mass murder has happened in Kindergartens, in mosques, in colleges, in nightclubs, in public parks, in restaurants in Paris, in stadiums, no matter who you are, no matter what you believe, we live in an era where we are killing one another for no reason. No matter what sins or crimes you committed - even if you've lived your life without doing a single wrong to another human being. You are a target - everyone is. Everyone.

This is the time we live in: we are the terrorists. Not ISIS, or the mentally unstable who shoot up 26 people in an elementary school, or the police, or whomever-else-you-want-to-blame. Humans have become terrorists.

Electing Donald Trump is not a fix.

Facebooking your political, religious, or just plain ignorant opinion of how people should live their lives is not a fix.

Getting rid of guns will not be a fix (although, it would've helped if that asshole couldn't get his hands on an AR-15-type assault rifle. But whatever, details.)

Me writing this post is (obviously) not a fix.

Moving away is not a fix (believe me).

As long as we hold onto our ignorant, limited, hateful views of one another, this will continue. It may not be the same group of people inflicting pain each time, but it will always be linked with one thing: Hate. Judgment of others. A need to be right, to control, to condemn.

The only fix I can see is to look inside ourselves and find the ways WE each are terrorists. Who do you judge, blame, hate, dislike, or hold anger towards? Who have you imagined hurting, even just a little, even just with words?

All it takes is that small amount of hostility within each of us. Born of fear, bred into the worst kind of evil. Not one of us is right, or purely good. I'm not - I'll admit I've held on to blind anger towards others, even hatred. Maybe I've never wanted to make anyone suffer, but it's there, and without dealing with that accurately or in a healthy way, it goes wild. I'm just one person, and I've been given a life filled with therapy, self-observation and encouragement to view others with as much of an open mind as possible.

Maybe we didn't carry the assault weapons, or carry out the attacks.. But we are all guilty, and we are all responsible. And today, to say "I'm sorry" for the hundreds of brothers and sisters I have lost in the past year feels pathetic. I'm not sorry. I'm angry - at myself, at humans, and at our inability to evolve as a race. It's on us at this point if we want to survive or dwindle into extinction.