Tidings and Joy

On the 14th day of Christmas my true love gave to me...

Five glasses of wine and a seasonal Flu.

I haven't been sick in, oh, probably about a year? I suppose the last time I was sick was December '12. December kills my immune system every year. It's the time of year where health is probably most important, because projects are always underway and audition season is putting the screws to every single singer in NYC. This year, each weekend I had either a singing engagement (Messiah, and lots of church-ly Bach), or auditions (or both), and while I swaddled my hands in gloves to keep from touching other peoples' germs on the subways, and drank my weight in Emergen-C, it was bound to happen: In came blizzard 'Electra' last Saturday, and in with it came my sinus infection. Or flu. Or whatever this thing is.

Since then I've had lots of days at work spent sniffling and abusing the tea stash in the kitchen, took a day off to try to sleep it completely out of my system, overdosed on echinacea, zicam and vitamin C, and still... have no voice. WOE.

Tonight's special so far is spicy Thai soup, tea with whiskey in it (I guess that makes it a hot toddy), and a huge glass of water with Apple Cider vinegar. (Supposed to raise your pH levels, I guess?). I will get well by tomorrow, dammit.

Anyway, given the down time, I have given thought to what 2013 was for me. I'm not going to go on a rant about how "Glad I am it's almost 2014, omg 2013 was the hardest year EVERRR". No offense to those who feel this way. I know the year was a toughie. But, it was not to blame for the hardships, it was just a year we were living in, and it was doing its best to move along quickly.

And move on quickly it did.

I will say, within the year 2013, I went through so many changes and stages that I truly am not the same person. Does that count? It must. Already I am embracing 2014, but not because I'm wanting to leave this year behind - because I am so excited for the coming year I can hardly stand it.

2013 was a year of healing, both for myself and for my family. 2012 was the year we lost loved ones with such catastrophic force (no apologies for the drama within that sentence, because it was dramatic and catastrophic for us), that we sort of looked at each other by the time Christmas came going "okay, what now?" Shell-shocked and rather terrified. We spent Christmas 2012 hunkered down in Albany holding family meetings and attempting to get through our spells of grief and moodiness. I already touched on this with Thanksgiving, and it doesn't bear repeating. We were eager to make big changes in 2013, even hard ones - like leaving jobs, or leaving relationships. We did so with our teeth gritted and our emotions barely at bay, but we made it here, and we're all better for it. From losses in the family, and losses of dear friends, to accidents that could have been tragic and turned into triumph. From job loss, to gain, to loss again. From identity crisis ... to fully embracing whatever identity this has become.

I, personally, am always going to look back fondly on 2013. It was not the hardest year of my life, because I chose not to let it be, and was surrounded by people who wouldn't let me stumble in that. It became the year I really learned to take control of what happiness means for me - and realized how much more important that is than anything else.

Merry Christmas. Be healthy. Be happy. Don't settle for a single year being a year you cannot wait to get out of... but here's to 2014 being the best one we've ever had.